fuhh.. dah berbulan agaknya blog ni aku tinggal usang. hmm,, there is too much reason and i decided to stop blogging for awhile. but somehow..., i need writing sometimes. especially when i dont know where to tell my weirdo thingy and merojak gaban.
so here we go.. i put friendship as the topic i want to tell. i love my friendship. i appreciate the friendship i have with my friends. i love them as they make me smile. they are the reason i smile, laugh, and im happy. but i almost forgot that among of the joyful things are come from Allah. i almost forgot that He is the reason i live, i pray, and all the good things in this world. and yeah, you are also the good things from Allah. when you are in deep down with happiness and you forgot Allah in each happiness, He tried to bring you back into Him. how sweet it is right?
it just same like my story,, it has been many years im longing to have a bunch of favourite people, bestfriends, best buddies, bestboyfriend (kawan i mean) and bestgirlfriends. and Allah listen my pray, hear my whispers, see my tears and He gave me a big suprises. i have got all i want within two years and i was totally deep inside the happiness. until i forgot that from all that is from Allah. who am i if Allah does not give his mercy. who draw my smile if Allah does not see my tears. im lost in dunya. i loves happiness, i loves this worldly life as i forgot that this worldly life has an ends. (maher zain - worldly life).
and something happen that really makes my heart broken, the friendship that i love the most has slowly falling apart. the ties that i want to hold till my last breath are slowly tear off. i lost my focus in my studies, my dignity, my faith, and my days was slowly turning upside down.
At some points, i cant feel the happiness in my prayers, the calmness that has been a long time i does not feel. sometimes i can smile, laugh but deep inside my heart, i can feel the emptiness. the true happiness that we all want it. and i keep longing where does it go? i pray 5 times, i read the Quran, i tried to overcome any possibilities that can ruin my pray. i try to do all that but i fail and sometime i lost and hard to constant.
since then, i knew what i lost. i lost the merciful that Allah gave me. the happiness in my pray and prayers, the calmness in my worship. and these all because i never be grateful in the happiness that i got . i get the happiness but i did it in the wrong way, i delayed my 5 time prayers, i rarely do zikir. and all what i did was read all the social media after my prayer instead of Quran and zikir. i did these things as it is like the social media is my priority rather than my worship. i trust people, love my friendship more than i love Allah. i spent hours with my friends rather than my qiam and prayers. im greedy, im proud of everything and then....i know what i lost...lost with this wordly life.
untill now,. im still longing the calmness and happiness in my prayer.
Therefore, we have to try no matter how hard it is to get the happiness and calmness back as long as we do not give up. Allah always being with people who are patience. it is hard to achieve it because good things happen after we tried hard right?. we might have slightly fall apart, but do not forget to stand straight and keep running towards His mercy. yeahh trust that Allah will give the happiness you want after you put all the faith and evrything just to Allah. He just take back a pieces that He gaves me to take me back into Him. so still smile and strive for mardhatillah.
From Allah we come and from Allah we going back.
Doakan saya sentiasa teguh dijalan Allah!